Should I Tell Her?
I've been friends with someone for a long time, however, we have drifted apart over the last couple of years for a couple of reasons. One, I was always there to support and give her advice, but when I needed support, she wasn't there for me. And secondly, I couldn't stand her boyfriend! I never told her my feelings, instead I bit my tongue and said nothing.
Now I have a dilemma. I bumped into her first serious boyfriend about the time she hooked up with her new guy. We have become friends and I've caught up a few times with him (more often than I have her in the last few years). The opportunity to tell her never came up because on the occasions I did catch up with her, it's all been about her love life, her problems - not once has she asked me about my personal life, so I've said nothing.
I was there to pick up the pieces when they broke up years ago and she was absolutely devastated. If I were to follow the 'Best Friend Code' I would have nothing further to do with any exes my friend had, but we are no longer 'friends' as we were back then.
The question is, do I tell her?
3 comments:
If she bothers to ask what's happening in the life of Dette, then yeah I think you should tell her.
Otherwise, I don't think you have any obligation to? Sounds terrible doesn't it? But maybe put yourself in her situation.
i don't see why you should tell her. it sounds like you haven't been close for a while. more like acquaintances than friends.
We haven't been close for a while, and after thinking about it for some time now, I don't feel that I owe her anything.
In the past she has contacted and socialised with my friends - people she has only met occasionally - behind my back. One time I replied to an email she had sent and cc'd another person she had included in the email (who I had met several times), and she told me that I should have asked her permission first!
I am not going to tell her and I'm not going to say anything about it to another of our mutual friends (who I suspect has not mentioned that we still keep in touch)!
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