Tuesday 27 February 2007

I Hate Being Sick

I've just got back from the doctor's and he confirmed what I have been dreading... I have tonsilitis! BAD tonsilitis. 3 days off work - YAY!!!

I've tried to go back to sleep, but can't because of all of this:

My tonsils do not look pretty. I have a fever of just over 38degrees. Half my throat is blocked due to the swelling, making it difficult to swallow fluids, let alone food. My head is pounding. My neck is stiff and sore. I'm boiling hot AND sweating like a pig!

How far is it to Antarctica?

Monday 19 February 2007

Work News Update

You might recall from a previous post that it was not yet offical that my team leader was leaving. I can now happily announce that it is official! *victory dance*

Friday 16 February 2007

Joke: The Perfect Husband

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: " I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2007 models. I saw one I really liked !"

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$90,000"

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing .. The house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000"

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand if it's really a nice house.

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"

MAN: "Bye! I love you , too !

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment and disbelief, with their mouths open............

He smiles and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"

Thursday 8 February 2007

Random Facts 11

  1. The largest number of children born to one woman is 69 in Russia.
  2. Between the ages of 30 and 70 your nose may lengthen and widen by as much as 1.5m.
  3. A fingernail or toenail takes about 6months to grow from base to tip.
  4. It takes 17 muscles to smile and 43 muscles to frown.
  5. Frogs never drink. They absorb water from their surroundings by osmosis.
  6. Over 1500 new species have been found in Australian waters in the past 10 years.
  7. Humans produce about 40,000 litres of saliva in a lifetime.
  8. When a woman is pregnant, her uterus expands to 500 times it’s normal size.
  9. The average person will consume 50 tonnes of food and 45,000 litres of water in a lifetime.
  10. Chickens can travel up to 15km per hour.

Thursday 1 February 2007

Uniform Joke

Work has changed uniform suppliers and I was measured for my uniform in April last year (that is 10 months ago) and I have not yet been able to wear it! I have recieved 4 shirts - none of which fit me properly and there is no sign of my skirts.

The shirts are too tight across my shoulders so when I reach both arms out in front of me, it pulls tightly across my back and sleeves. Also, the front sits several inches higher than the back. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have a couple of obstacles in the way - boobs!

These people are supposed to be professionals, yet they told me to take the shirts to a clothing alterer to have them fixed - wtf? How on earth are they supposed to make shirts bigger across the shoulders without starting from scratch? There is no spare material, so they can't let any hems out.

Anyway, I went to the clothing alteration place, and guess what? They can't fix it! What a waste of time that was! So now they are going to supply the material to me and I will have someone else make the shirt's - without a pattern - but thankfully not to my cost.

If you couldn't think things could be worse, they can...

One of the admin ladies is also made to measure, but has been lucky enough that her shirts were made too large for her, so she can have them taken in. Up until today she hadn't received her skirts. She made a point of coming down and showing it to me when it arrived - it was huge! She tried it on but it was that big, it would have easily slid to the floor if she didn't have a hold of it! It was almost as wide as it is long.

If we need a parachute, we know where to look!