Lawyer Joke

Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

During a trial in a small town, the prosecuting lawyer called his first witness, an elderly grandmother, to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs Jones, do you know me?"

She replied, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realise you will never amount to anything more than a cheap paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs Jones, do you know the defence lawyer?"

She again replied, "Why yes I do. I've known Mr Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire country. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defence lawyer almost died. The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said, "Neither of you bastards better ask her if she knows me."